Subject: Self-introduction letter
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Jonathan Chan. The purpose
of this email is to briefly introduce myself and give some background behind my
ever so common name. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in
aeronautical engineering. Thereafter, enlisted in the army and now studying mechanical
engineering under SIT/UofG.
I chose to pursue a degree in
engineering as I have always been a “numbers guy” as far as I can remember and
apart from the technical skills that I will acquire, I greatly appreciate and
admire the systematic and problem-solving mindset of engineers. One notable
interest of mine is the passion for mechanical watches, the workmanship and
craftsmanship that goes into each timepiece has always intrigued my curiosity.
This also added to my decision to study engineering at university.
I believe that communication is one
of the key components of our society. It is also one of the greatest achievements
of mankind. From day to day conversations to more extreme cases like convincing
a suicide bomber to stand-down. The choice of words, tone and mood can significantly
affect the outcome at any instance.
For myself, speaking publicly in
front of big crowds has always been a challenge. To overcome this, I constantly
force myself to speak up and step out of my comfort zone. However, I have the
habit of hiding my nervousness behind jokes and laughter which I wish to
overcome in time to come.
My goal for this semester is not only
to polish up my technical writing/presentations skills but also to cultivate
the habit of spotting mistakes within all of my work in the future. With all
this in mind, I look forward to learning more about communication under your
tutelage. Lastly, as quoted by Ralph Marston, “Excellence is not a skill. It is
an Attitude.”
Best regards,
Jonathan Chan
Dear Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteLike myself and my blog group-mates, you have made the mistake of capitalizing your "Best Regards". It should be "Best regards". when, when using acronyms SIT/UofG, you should write out the full name when referencing it for the first time.
Best regards,
Adley
Hi Adley,
DeleteThank you for highlighting.
Best regards,
Jonathan Chan
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear John,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this concise, informative letter. In it, you share something about the genesis of your interest in engineering, your view on the value of comm skills, a bit of your experience and your goals for the module. I find it interesting that your 'problem-solving mindset' has inspired you to pursue engineering. Organization-wise, you address all the topics except your comm skills strength.
There are also a few minor issues in terms of language use in this letter:
1. sentence structure
-- Thereafter, enlisted in the army and now studying mechanical engineering under SIT/UofG. > (fragment)
-- One notable interest of mine is the passion for mechanical watches, the workmanship and craftsmanship that goes into each timepiece has always intrigued my curiosity. > (comma splice/subject-verb agreement) ?
-- From day to day conversations to more extreme cases like convincing a suicide bomber to stand-down. > (fragment) ?
2. punctuation
-- However, I have the habit of hiding my nervousness behind jokes and laughter which I wish to overcome in time to come. (missing comma)
> However, I have the habit of hiding my nervousness behind jokes and laughter, which I wish to overcome in time to come.
In a move to address your modules goals, let's work on revising this.
Cheers,
Brad